Why We Fight (At First Sight Book 4) Read online

  “Jesus Christ,” I muttered. “I am never downloading music for you again.”

  “—and Sandy and Darren are bumping uglies and being disgusting.”

  That was true. They were disgusting. If you’d told me last year that Sanford Stewart and Darren Mayne would be some weird power couple, I would have laughed in your face before kicking you in the balls for even considering such a thing. But here we were.

  “And,” Nana continued, “your Vietnamese friend got him some cop love like the heroine of a torrid romance novel.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Vegetarian, Nana. Ty is vegetarian, not Vietnamese.”

  She frowned. “Oh. Are you sure? I could have sworn he was Vietnamese.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Well, regardless. With all of your friends coupling up around you, it can be tough when you’re the only single one left.”

  “Not all my friends. I have other friends!”

  “You do?” Larry asked as he was handed another cocktail. “Really?”

  “Name two,” Matty said.

  Meddlesome bitches. “There’s—like. Okay. Hold on. Um.”

  “Exactly,” Nana said, as if that solved everything. “You don’t have any other friends. Which is sad, yes, but that’s another intervention entirely.”

  “I knew it! I knew this was an intervention!”

  “Jig is up,” Larry said, poking himself in the eye with the umbrella.

  Matty sighed as she sat up, the cucumbers falling on her chest. “We were doing so well too.”

  Now I was grumpy. “Who cares if all my friends are dating each other? I don’t. So what if Paul and Vince are on their honeymoon? And so what if at the same time, Sandy and Darren decided they needed two weeks away in Las Vegas? Who the hell spends two weeks in Vegas? And so what if Dom went all stupidly romantic and now he and Ty are going to be together forever in Seafare? I’m fine.”

  “Are you?” Nana asked gently.

  I crossed my arms, feeling strangely claustrophobic. “Yes. I’m happy for them. They got everything they ever wanted. And they deserve it, especially after all the crap they’ve been through. Besides, they’re all old. I’m only twenty-three.”

  “Hoo boy,” Larry said. “I remember saying that when I was twenty-three. And now look at me.” He grinned. His teeth were stained blue.

  I groaned as I put my face in my hands.

  I felt a hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. “A lot of things changed quickly,” Matty said. “We just want to make sure you’re okay with all of it. We worry about all of our children this way.”

  That caused a tiny ache in my chest. I had fit in with the Auster family almost from the very beginning. Matty and Larry made sure I knew I was one of theirs. It’d been weird at first, since I wasn’t used to parental figures acting… parental. I’d been on my own longer than I cared to think about, and there was an adjustment period where I’d been unsure of their motives. But I learned that with the Austers, motives were the furthest things from their minds.

  Except for times like right now.

  And all the other times.

  I dropped my hands and laid my head back against the chair. “I’m fine,” I said again, and this time I tried to make it sound like they could believe me. “Really. I promise. And even if I wasn’t, it’s not like I have time for anything more right now. I’ve got my future to think about. Plans to make.”

  “You’re very driven,” Larry agreed. “It’s one of the things I’m most proud of.”

  Damn him and his ability to make me feel things while my cuticles were getting worked on! “Thank you. So you see, there’s nothing you have to worry about. Let’s talk about something else.”

  “Yes,” Nana said. “Let’s. How’s Daddy Charlie doing?”

  I blinked. I hadn’t expected her to fold so easily. “Good. I took him to the doctor last week, though he bitched the entire time he could drive himself.”

  “Getting his blood pressure under control?” Matty asked.

  “Yeah. He’s on the right medication now. Healthy as a horse, or so he says. I’m keeping my eye on him, though. We all are.”

  “Nasty business, getting old,” Nana said, a strange note in her voice I couldn’t quite place. “But I’m glad to hear he’s doing better. He’s got that new beau. Nothing helps you feel young again like finding someone to spend your time with.”

  This felt dangerous. Surely they didn’t know anything, right? Paul and Sandy swore they’d keep their mouths shut. They swore. “I guess,” I said slowly. “Robert’s good for him. Charlie’s grumpy as always, but I think it’s just a front now. I’ve seen him smile more in the last few months than in the past year.”

  “Good, good,” Larry said, crunching on ice. His drink was almost empty again. “We can’t wait to meet this… this Robert.”

  I was starting to sweat. I told myself it was because I was wearing a robe in Arizona at the beginning of June. I almost believed it. “I’m sure it will happen sooner rather than later.”

  “Oh, I imagine it will,” Matty said, munching on one of her eye cucumbers. “In fact, I suggested to Paul before he and Vince left that we should have a barbeque at some point this summer. Invite Charlie and Robert. Very casual.”

  I wiped a trickle of sweat from my brow. Had the air-conditioning failed? This was barbaric! “That sounds good.”

  “I wonder who else we should invite?” Nana asked as she stroked the single hair on her chin. “Is there anyone else that we could think of that should be present at a meet-the-family barbeque?” Her eyes widened comically as she gasped. “Oh! Didn’t I hear Robert has a son?”

  I needed to get out of here. If I had to run out the front doors in a short robe, I would. I’d done worse things for a lot less.

  “That’s right,” Larry said, eyes twinkling. “A son. What was his name?”

  “I have no idea,” I grunted. “Hey, are any of you hungry? I’m hungry. I could sure use a sandwich. Maybe I could just go home and make us all one and bring it back. Yes. That sounds like a good idea. I’ll do just—”

  Matty shook her head. “I’m not hungry at all. And now that I think about it, I do recall hearing Robert had a son. Jerome. Jerry? Jackson?”

  “Jeremy,” I said without thinking. And then I squeaked uncontrollably as I slapped a hand over my mouth.

  They all turned slowly to look at me. Even the nail technicians.

  “Jeremy,” Nana said.

  I shook my head. “Nope. Nope. No. Nein. Nyet. Non. I absolutely will not have this discussion with—you know what? Hold that thought. First and foremost, who’s gonna get it? Give me a name, because I’m going to murder them.”

  And it was about that time that my masseuse, Tanya, was walking by. She stopped and stared at me. “Hibbity bip,” she breathed. “I knew it was real.”

  “No, Tanya!” I yelled. “No hibbity bip! Murder is bad!”

  She hurried away. Goddammit. I was going to get so subpoenaed.

  I stood up, pulling my robe tighter, and stepped out of the foot-soaking tub. Water droplets splashed on the floor, and I almost slipped. I managed to save myself and turned to stare fiercely at my family. I put my hands on my hips so they knew I meant business.

  “So precious,” Nana whispered.

  “Now see here,” I said sternly. “I don’t know who opened their fat mouths, but I have an idea—”

  “Darren and Vince,” Matty supplied helpfully.

  “—but I… wait. What. Really? Darren and Vince? What the fuck?”

  “Language,” Larry scolded. “Especially while I’m getting my nails done.”

  I threw up my hands. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I don’t know what they told you, but it isn’t true. Professor Olsen is great, but I don’t think of him that way.”

  “Uh-huh,” Matty said.

  “He’s hot for teacher,” Nana told her technician.

  “I even looked up the charter for the U of A,” Larry said. “It’s not ag
ainst the rules for a teacher to get involved with—”

  “Why are you like this?” I demanded.

  Matty snorted. “Sweetheart, you knew what you were getting into a long time ago. You just didn’t realize it would swing your way eventually while you were gleefully meddling in the background. That’s not on us. That’s on you. It’s your time to shine.”

  Ugh. That sounded terrible. “I’m leaving,” I announced grandly. “I bid you good day.”

  “I drove you here in the limo I forgot to give back after Paul’s bachelor party,” Nana reminded me.

  “I said good—oh. Right. Dammit. Why the hell don’t I have a car?”

  “Because you won’t let us buy you one as an early graduation present,” Larry reminded me.

  “I like riding the bus,” I retorted.

  “No one likes riding the bus,” Matty said. “Not even the bus drivers.”

  “Keys,” I demanded, holding out my hand. “I’ll drive myself.”

  Nana snorted. “Like hell I’m going to let you drive my stolen limo. I’ll take you home.”

  Larry frowned. “Are we letting you drive again? I thought after you hit all those mailboxes, they took your license away.”

  “Run!” Nana yelled, kicking her feet out of the soaker and spraying her technician in the face.

  And we did just that.

  NANA SAT with her hands at ten and two and her face practically pressed against the windshield. I was all for senior independence, but when she almost sideswiped another car for the third time, I started rethinking my position.

  It didn’t help that she’d somehow found a cassette tape for the Mulan soundtrack only god knew where, and felt the need to play the song “Reflection” over and over whenever I was in the limo. She thought it was a trans anthem. Bless her heart. She was very progressive that way.

  “See that damn girl staring back at me,” she muttered along with the song that had been replayed six times so far. Traffic was very bad for a Friday. If I’d met Mulan right then, I’d have let her stab me.

  And, because it needed to be said, I told her, “I don’t need you guys worrying about me.”

  She glanced over at me as a man shook his fist out his window when she cut him off. “Fascinating.”

  “I’m being serious.”

  “Oh, okay. Just as long as you’re being serious.”

  I huffed out a breath and slumped down farther in the cracked seat. “I’m not lonely, or whatever you’ve got in your heads. I’m happy for everyone for getting hitched or being in love or whatever. It’s not something I’m ready for. Or even looking for.”

  “Sure,” she said easily. “If you say so.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “You’re taking this rather well.”

  She shrugged. “If that’s what you say, then so shall it be.”

  “Good. Well, then. Since that’s out of the way, how about we—”

  “But what if?”

  I blinked. “What if what?”

  She turned to stare at me for far longer than one should while driving a stretch limo. I’m pretty sure we ran a red light, if the honking was any indication. “What if?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “I know. But I’ve got a feeling you will.”

  That didn’t sound good. “Are you threatening me?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Good, because that would be—”

  “I lied!” she crowed. “It was a threat!” She cackled maniacally as she reached out and pressed a button on the stereo to rewind the song yet again.

  I WATCHED from the front of the house as she drove away, “La Cucaracha” echoing throughout the neighborhood as she laid on the horn. She disappeared around the corner with a squeal of tires, the brake lights barely flashing as she went through the stop sign.

  It wasn’t true.

  None of what they’d said.

  I wasn’t lonely.

  I didn’t care that everyone in the goddamn world had met the love of their life.

  And I certainly didn’t feel a damn thing for Jeremy Olsen.

  This summer I was going to focus on what I needed to do in order to figure out my future.

  That was it.

  I turned and went inside the empty house. I wondered if there were any leftovers in the fridge.

  Chapter 1: True Love is a Finger in the Ass

  “THERE YOU are,” Charlie said as I walked into the Queen’s Lair on Saturday night. The sounds of Jack It filling up were loud below as people got ready for the drag show sans Helena Handbasket. “I was wondering if you were going to show up.”

  He was sitting on a stool, his camera on the tripod in front of him. He wore his old leather jacket, something Sandy had told me he’d had since he first met him while trying to get into the bar underage. Regardless of his age, he still looked like a gruff leather daddy, and that’s exactly what I needed right now. He wouldn’t speak in vague circles or be meddlesome.

  Hopefully.

  “I told you I would,” I muttered as I sat on the stool next to him. The Lair was strangely desolate without Helena getting ready. “Bus was running late.”

  “I thought Sandy left you his car while he was gone?”

  I shrugged. “I didn’t want to try and fight for a parking space. And if I have a drink, I don’t want to take any chances.”

  He looked me up and down, taking in my skirt and red top. “Nobody gave you any grief?”

  I shook my head. Protective as always. “Nah. And even if they did, I can handle myself.”

  “You carrying that mace I got you?”

  “Yes, Daddy.”

  “Good. Don’t be afraid to use it. There are idiots out there. It’s better to spray first and ask questions later.”

  That troubled me, but I let it go. “I know.”

  He reached over and patted my shoulder. “I’ll take you home after, if that’s all right with you. Help me sleep better tonight knowing you’re all right.”

  “Thanks, Daddy.”

  He grunted as he went back to fiddling with his camera. It was new, a gift from all of us for his seventy-ninth birthday. He’d told us we didn’t need to fuss over him, but nobody was fooled. We’d all completely ignored the way he wiped his eyes after unwrapping the package because it was the right thing to do. He was proud of it, showing it off whenever he could. “You ready for everyone to get back tomorrow? Must have been nice to have the house to yourself, especially with no school stuff to worry about.”

  “It was nice,” I agreed. “But I got over it on the second day. Too quiet.”

  “I get that,” he said. Then, “Heard from Nana.”

  I groaned. “Oh, Christ. Not you too.”

  He held up his hands in placation. “You ain’t gonna hear shit from me. She just asked that I keep an eye on you. Said you seemed down is all.”

  I glanced at him before looking back down on the dance floor. The chairs in front of the stage were filled with people drinking and laughing. A queen down from Phoenix was filling in for Helena while Sandy was on his gaycation. She was good but didn’t hold a candle to our resident queen. “I’m fine.”

  “Sure you are. But it’s okay not to be. You know that, right?”

  I knew what he was saying, and the unasked question on his lips. I was Kori today, something I’d woken up feeling. They all thought Kori was a shield, someone I needed when I was feeling out of sorts. They weren’t wrong, exactly, though they all knew better than to bring it up unless I did first. They tried to understand, and I loved them for it. But it was hard to explain why I felt this way. How I could outwardly be two different people. I didn’t think it mattered to them. I was the same on the inside. “Yeah, Daddy. I know.”

  “Good. And if you ever need to talk about anything, you can come to me. I might not be as young as I used to be, but I know my way around.”

  I laughed. “I bet you do. How’s Robert?”

  His cheeks turned pink, tho
ugh I’d never call him out for it. It was adorable how he looked whenever someone brought up Robert Olsen, a dapper man with a cane who Charlie seemed to think hung the moon. “He’s fine,” Charlie muttered, refusing to even glance my way.

  “He sure is,” I teased.

  His lips twisted into a playful sneer. “Don’t think you’re above me putting you over my knee, girlie. Because I will.” He reached over and tugged on a lock of my hair, which was curled down around my shoulders. “Hair looks nice.”

  I rolled my eyes. “If you had any idea what it takes to actually straighten my hair, you’d say it looks more than nice. It’s a process that takes hours.”

  He chuckled. “Wouldn’t know much about that. And you’re right. It looks more than nice. Beautiful, even.”

  I blushed and looked away. “You old so-and-so. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were sweet on me.”

  “You’d know it if I was.”

  “Promises, promises,” I said. “You want something to drink? I can go down to the bar and get it.”

  He shook his head. “Don’t need to do that. I can have someone come up.”

  “What? How?”

  He reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a small thin tube. He held it up over the banister in front of us and pressed a button on the side. It was a laser pointer, and it reflected off the glasses in the bar. One of the bartenders, Izaac, turned and grinned. He waved up at us and turned to a shirtless barback, nodding toward the Lair.

  “Perks of the job,” Charlie said as he put the laser pointer away. “Stairs aren’t as easy as they used to be. And since Mike is a cheap asshole and won’t buy walkie-talkies for the bar, it’s the next best thing.”

  “Such a diva,” I said. “Your knees okay?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Yes. And so is my heart. And my blood pressure. And my prostate, so you don’t need to ask. You all worry too much.”

  “I’m glad to hear that about your prostate. I’m sure Robert is too, now that I think—”

  He held a stubby, thick finger up in warning. “One more word outta you and I’ll give you a spanking like you wouldn’t believe.”