Heartsong Page 4

  Memories can be funny things.

  They can come when you least expect them to.

  And when you need them most.

  That was all she was. A memory.

  But I latched on to it.

  That first shift was a haze of instinct under the biggest moon. I barely remembered any of it, just the need to chase, chase, chase. The other wolves followed, howling so loudly that the very earth trembled with it.

  Later, when I could run no more, they curled around me, my belly full of meat, and I slept.

  The first shift was always the hardest.

  Now?

  Now it was easy.

  The tether was there, as it always was.

  My muscles began to quiver.

  My bones began to shift.

  There was pain, yes, but it was a good pain, and it hurt in such a terribly wonderful way.

  I fell to my knees and I was

  I am

  wolf

  i am wolf and strong and proud and this forest is mine this forest is home this

  is where i am

  this is where i am

  this is

  squirrel fuckin squirrel

  i am going to chase you

  i am gonna eat you

  run run run

  howl and sing and let them hear

  there is

  (robbie)

  (robbie)

  (ROBBIE)

  ????

  is that

  what is that

  another wolf

  is that another wolf

  who are you

  you aren’t here

  where are you

  i can’t find you

  BUT I CAN SMELL YOU

  I CAN SMELL YOU

  (robbie robbie robbie)

  why are you here

  why are you with me

  (i see you)

  (i see you)

  what is

  who is

  who am

  who am i

  i am

  wolf

  i am

  i am

  i

  gasped as I broke out of my shift, falling to the ground, skidding on leaves and pine needles. I landed on my back, chest heaving as I stared through the canopy above. There were flashes of blue sky beyond green leaves.

  But all I felt was the blue.

  “What the fuck?” I whispered.

  I pushed myself up off the ground. I grimaced as a cut on my shoulder began to stitch itself back together. I shook my head, trying to clear my mind.

  I stood slowly, head cocked.

  Listening.

  I would have sworn there had been another wolf in the refuge.

  One I didn’t know.

  I stood still.

  Waiting for something. Anything.

  Nothing happened.

  I looked around.

  Only trees.

  I was alone.

  My skin was chilled.

  “Great,” I muttered. “Now you’re hearing things. Fan-fucking-tastic.”

  I decided to head for home.

  * * *

  I didn’t tell Ezra what I thought I’d heard.

  We had other things to worry about.

  protect me/trust you

  “Jesus Christ,” I moaned. “How can you call this music?”

  Ezra grinned. “Feel free to stick your head out the window like a good wolf if you think it’ll help.”

  “That’s speciesist. You should feel really bad and apologize.” But I rolled down the window anyway. It was warmer than it’d been in Maine. I was stiff and sore, ready to get the hell out of this car, especially since we’d been listening to a woman wail in Italian for the past hour. Ezra thought opera would teach me to be cultured, but it was mostly torture. It didn’t help that we were stuck in traffic as we neared Fredericksburg, a small city outside of Washington, DC. The air was thick with exhaust, and I was pretty sure we were going to be poisoned and die.

  “I feel really bad and apologize,” Ezra recited dutifully.

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “Ah. Well. At least I tried.” But since he wasn’t a complete asshole, he turned down the woman screeching about her lost love or spaghetti or whatever. “We’re almost there.”

  “That’s what you’ve been saying for the past two hours.”

  He glanced over at me. “How did I not know that you were like this?”

  I hung my hand out the window, tapping it against the side of the car. “Because we’ve never had to go this far before.”

  “We could have flown.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yes. Because a werewolf in a small enclosed metal tube with a bunch of strangers and screaming children is always a good idea.”

  “You’ve never flown before.”

  I shrugged. “Never had the need to. And I don’t like the idea of being so… high. I like having my feet on the ground.”

  The car inched forward. “It’s not as bad as you think.”

  “I think it’s really bad, so.” A sign up ahead said our exit was only a few miles away. I was relieved. We’d reach the pack before nightfall. “Do they know we’re coming?”

  “They’ve been notified, yes. They didn’t respond, but we’ve done our due diligence.”

  “And what do we do if they’re not there?”

  I felt him looking over at me. “Where would they be?”

  “I don’t know. But if they cut off contact with Michelle, what makes you think they’re going to want to see us?”

  “Because they’re not stupid,” Ezra said patiently. “They know there are rules in place for a reason. If they’re not there, we’ll wait for them. They have to return sometime. It’s their home. They wouldn’t leave it behind. Territory is important to a wolf, especially to an Alpha.”

  “And if they attack?”

  He sounded surprised. “Why would they?”

  “Maybe they don’t want to see us. Maybe there’s a reason they stopped responding.”

  “Be that as it may, whatever their reason is, our job is to make sure they understand the rules and are following them.”

  We hadn’t yet come across a pack that was truly defiant once we reminded them of their place. Sure, there were always going to be disagreements, but Michelle wasn’t so stuck in her ways that she wouldn’t listen to the problems of the wolves.

  We were her emissaries, an extension of her, and a few of the packs disliked me on sight because of it. I always explained to them that I understood what they were doing and that I was an intermediary. A peacemaker. I carried their concerns back to the Alpha of all, and if she thought the concerns had merit and needed her intervention, she would meet with them face-to-face. Everyone left feeling like they’d been heard. Sometimes changes were made.

  Sometimes they weren’t.

  But still.

  This felt a little different.

  “If anything goes weird, you stay behind me,” I told Ezra.

  He laughed. “Protect me, will you?”

  “Yes.”

  “I believe that.”

  “Good.”

  “Even though you know I don’t need it.”

  “Whatever. Just let me have this, okay? It’ll make me feel better.”

  “All right, Robbie. Whatever you need.”

  We drove on.

  * * *

  They were waiting for us.

  They lived outside of Fredericksburg, the town dropping away into rolling farmlands the farther we drove. I was disconcerted by the sprawling fields that replaced the trees, but to each their own. I’m sure they found a place to run when they needed it.

  The GPS led us to a gravel driveway at the end of a one-lane road. The sun was beginning to set, and the sky was the color of a bone-deep bruise. Thunder rumbled in the distance behind heavy clouds.

  The car hit a deep pothole, and I bounced in my seat. I turned to snarl at Ezra to slow the hell down, but he came to a stop, his gnarled hands tigh
tening on the steering wheel as he stared straight ahead.

  The gravel driveway opened up to a large circle in front of an old house. It was different than the picture Michelle had sent to me. That house had been run-down, looking like it’d be easier to level it than to repair. But it looked as if they’d fixed it up nicely. The paint on the porch was new, and so were the shutters. The roof had been replaced, as had the siding. The bones of the house were the same, but they’d managed to make it look almost new.

  And they were standing in front of it.

  My skin prickled with unease at being in the territory of an unknown Alpha without permission.

  An older black man stood in front of the others. His arms were crossed over his chest as he watched us through the windshield. His expression was blank, but his eyes were bright orange. Even over the rumble of the engine, I could hear the low growl in his throat.

  Two younger men stood behind him. Fraternal twins, a rarity in born wolves. Both were pale, their hair black and curly. One was thinner than the other, and he looked nervous, eyes darting to his brother before going back to us.

  His brother had a scowl on his face. His arms and chest were thick with muscle. I had years on both of them. If the file was correct, they were barely seventeen.

  The older man turned his head slightly. He looked like he was about to speak, but instead he stepped to the side, revealing the Alpha.

  She looked tired and as pale as the twins. Dark circles blotched the skin under her eyes, and she was thinner than she’d been in the photograph, though it had only been taken a few months before. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail, and her eyes were dull until they filled with red. It rolled over me, foreign and immediate.

  She was pissed.

  Resigned, but pissed.

  They were expecting us.

  Ezra was frowning, his knuckles white on the steering wheel.

  “Turn off the car,” I said quietly. “And stay inside. Be prepared to move if I say.”

  “But—”

  “Please.”

  He sighed. “Would you hear me for a moment before going out there half-cocked?”

  “Yes. Always.” My fangs were itching in my gums. “But they’re listening to us right now.”

  His smile was faint. “I know. They’re scared, though they shouldn’t be. We aren’t here to hurt them. Keep a level head. We are all part of the greater good. Sometimes we have to be reminded of that. You’re a good boy, Robbie. I have faith in you. They don’t yet. But they will.”

  I took a deep breath and let it out slow.

  I reached for the door handle. I was about to pull it when Ezra gunned the engine. It was loud in the quiet, drowning out all other sound. The wolves in front of us winced. He leaned over quickly, his breath hot against my ear. He whispered, “Say little, but listen well.”

  He took his foot off the gas, and the engine idled.

  I stared at him before shaking my head.

  He turned off the car as I opened the door, pushing my glasses back up on my face.

  The Beta wolves growled in unison, but they fell silent when the Alpha held up her hand.

  The gravel crunched under my feet as I moved in front of the car, maintaining a distance between us. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe I could get any closer without invitation. We were already encroaching.

  My palms were sweating as I curled my hands into fists. My claws hadn’t popped through, but it was close. I hadn’t lost control of my shift since I was a cub. I didn’t know why it felt so close now. I opened my mouth, popping my jaw, keeping my fangs at bay by sheer force of will. A show of aggression would be the worst thing right now.

  So I did what I was taught.

  I tilted my head to the side, exposing my neck. I flashed my eyes at the Alpha.

  “We mean you no harm,” I said in a low voice. “I come on behalf of the Alpha of all, who sends her regards. Alpha Hughes is worried about you. She hasn’t heard from you in a while.”

  “We’re fine,” the bigger brother growled. “We don’t need you. Go away.”

  “John,” the Alpha snapped. She turned her head to the side, though she never took her gaze away from me. “Not another word.”

  John looked like he was going to argue, but he snapped his mouth closed instead, glaring at me.

  The Alpha said, “If I asked you to leave and tell Alpha Hughes that we appreciate her concern, would you?”

  “Probably not,” I said honestly. “And even if we did, we would have to come back, and possibly in greater numbers.”

  The brothers didn’t like that. Their fangs dropped.

  “But I don’t want that to happen,” I added quickly. “I’d rather it stay just between us.”

  The Alpha laughed, though there was no humor in it. “Just between us. And whoever else you tell upon your return.”

  She was smart. I would do well to remember that. “Only those who need to know. I’m not one to spread the business of packs to those it doesn’t concern.”

  She was quiet, always watching. Then, “Who are you?” She glanced over at the car and then back at me. “And who’s the witch?”

  “He’s Ezra. The witch to the Alpha of all.”

  She looked confused. “I thought—what happened to her previous witch?”

  I didn’t know what she was talking about. Ezra had been Michelle’s witch for a long time. “I think you might be mistaken. I’ve only ever known Ezra. But I haven’t been there long. Perhaps there was someone else, but it’s him now.”

  She nodded slowly. “And you are?”

  “Robbie. Robbie Fontaine.”

  The brothers continued to scowl at me.

  The Alpha’s expression never changed.

  But the older man…. It was fleeting, the barest of expressions. There and gone.

  As if he knew my name.

  My reputation must have preceded me. I didn’t know if that was good or not.

  “Robbie,” the Alpha said. “Robbie Fontaine.”

  “Yes.”

  And she asked, “Who are you?” like it was more than just a question, more than what the words seemed to indicate.

  Little wolf, little wolf, can’t you see?

  It tugged.

  It pulled.

  “I am the second to Alpha Hughes,” I said, and the urge to shift was harsh and grating.

  She shook her head. “I know that. I can see that. That’s not what I’m asking.”

  I opened my mouth—to say what, I didn’t know—when the car creaked behind me.

  The wolves looked away from me toward Ezra as he climbed out of the car. I cursed silently as he grunted. He shuffled over to my side, wincing at the pains of his old body. He muttered about the idiots standing before him.

  “I told you to stay in the car,” I said under my breath, though everyone could hear me.

  “You looked as if you could use some backup,” he said, sounding far more cheerful than the tense situation called for. He bumped his shoulder into mine before bowing as low as he could. He barely grimaced at the pain in his back. “Alpha. Thank you for hearing us out. As my young friend said, we mean you no harm. All that we ask is for an exchange of information. Nothing else.”

  “An exchange?” the Alpha asked dangerously. “An exchange implies you have something I want.”

  “Oh, I imagine we can come up with something,” Ezra said. “All we ask is that you listen to us, and we promise to listen to you. You have my word.”

  The Alpha appeared to relax slightly. She nodded at both of us before glancing back at her pack. I don’t know what they saw on her face, but they didn’t seem pleased. She turned toward us again and said, “One night. You can sleep in the barn. In the morning, you leave, no matter what’s been discussed.”

  “Agreed,” Ezra said as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

  “My name is Shannon Wells,” she said, her voice quieter. “And I am the Alpha. This is John and his brother, James.”


  John’s scowl deepened.

  James gave a nervous little wave.

  “And this is my second,” Shannon said, jerking her head toward the other man, “Malik.”

  Malik didn’t say a word.

  “You are welcome in my territory,” Shannon said. “But if I suspect there is anything untoward happening, I will kill you both, consequences be damned. Do you believe me?”

  “Yes,” Ezra said. “I do.”

  “Good. Pull your car up next to the barn. It’s almost time for dinner. You can join us if you wish. I’m sure you have much to say, whether I want to hear it or not.”

  * * *

  The interior of the farmhouse was more modern than I expected, though it still seemed to be a work in progress. It smelled faintly of wet paint, so it had to have been a month or two since they’d done it. Mostly it smelled like the four of them, like a pack home should.

  Off to the left of the entryway was a large living room, a sectional couch surrounding a TV mounted above a fireplace. I was amused to see a stack of old black-and-white monster movies on a bookshelf. They all seemed to be about werewolves.

  “I like them,” a voice said.

  I glanced over to see James standing beside me, nervously wringing his hands. “Yeah? I’ve seen a lot of them. Pretty good. Funny. Got a bunch of stuff wrong, but some of it isn’t so far off. Makes you wonder if any wolves actually worked on them, you know?”

  He nodded, looking relieved. “It’s—”

  “Jimmy,” John said, voice rough. “Come here.”

  Jimmy’s eyes widened, and he took a step back toward his brother. John wrapped an arm around his shoulders, glaring at me as if he thought I was about to attack Jimmy. His expression softened as he glanced over at Jimmy. He leaned over and kissed the side of his head. “Stay by me, okay?”

  Jimmy looked annoyed but didn’t argue.

  Malik disappeared up the stairs in front of us without a look back as Ezra crossed the threshold. Shannon came in behind him and closed the door.

  “No wards,” Ezra said as if he were commenting on the weather.

  “No witch,” Shannon said. “Though I think you already knew that.”

  “I could help you with that, if you’d like.”